ahh..

i jus wanna sae, it's my fault. I'm so sori roxi, enoch and whoever else tt was not involved tt became involved.. i'm so sorri.. i hate myself, i hate him.. i realli do.. but the hatred comes in short bursts and goes away again.. and i cant stop myself from hoping that i can ever be a friend again.. I cant. i have no idea why, but i cant. There's a thin line between faith and denial.. tell me, then, am i holding on because of faith? I pray and pray.. and time passes.. wounds are healed.. BUT EVERYTIME HE SAYS THE WOUND TEARS OPEN AGAIN.. I BLEED, I CRY. NO.. TEARS DON'T COME ANYMORE AS I BLEED INWARDLY, PAIN ALL OVER MY HEART.
I cant hope for i'll crash.. but i hope.. i cant be happi for i'll be sad.. but i'm happi.. i see the anger, the frustration.. through the happiness i see, are you realli happi? i made a mistake, and it's unbelievable how angry i am at myself.. can you even imagine underneath the covers, the tears i shed for you? it's no use crying, i say to myself.. but i cry.. i'm not strong enough to hide from myself..
you're on the back of my mind almost every dae.. i dun wanna have hopes anymore.. but i cant stop myself from thinking it it is possible.. what's the point?
ahh.. i'm going crazy.. but this is one wish that i'll keep..