miiii

Hm.. updates on my termly report:
A Maths : F9
CH : C5
ChEM : D7
CL : A1
EL : A2
Lit : A1
E Maths : A1
PhYsics : C5

L1R5 : 15

haha.. i'm realli happi.. and realli thank God for these.. i realli want to keep it and improve on my maths and science so i can do better! yay.. single digit! haha.. hm.. i'm realli feeling something but i can't place what.. i dunno.. haha.. jus feel that i am lacking something.. dunno wat.. ah well..
by the way.. i dunno whether i did the correct thing.. but wat's done is done.. i realli hope that mich, u'll be oki.. i'm realli sorri for all that i haf done, but i wish tt you would jus b happier.. i might not understand, but i'm not forcing anything.. sorri again..
hmm.. my cousin's b'dae todae! i bought something for her ytd and it was quite nice i think.. haha.. realli hope that she would like it..

Ahh.. actualli i'm quite sad over my dad.. cause i tink now that my bro knows music, chinese music and he plays the yang qin quite well, my dad don't wanna care abt mi anymore.. i realized that everytime he calls mi it is to either find my brother, or to help him do sth.. i dun mind helping him, realli.. but he hurts me.. well.. i play the piano and practise hard.. i put my whole soul into what i'm playing everytime.. i can play and play till i cry, but as much as i try to create a perfect piece( which is not possible i know, but near it?) he jus doesn't care.. last time he said that i am starting to play music.. but now, he tells mi that i dun play anything from the black and white keys that i touch with my whole heart! i'm trying so hard but he tells mi that i'm creating nth.. while my brother is playing in performances already.. haiz.. i dunno why.. i'm jus so sad.. maybe like wat i said abt mi being a leader.. i dun haf the gift to perform for others.. to create something that will probe at people's emotions.. to let them listen to something that is untainted by the cruelty of the world.. i play and play.. jus so i can make something beautiful.. but i cant.. haiz.. haha.. guess i dun haf the talent..