today..

i've been tryin to get on blogger for v. long.. but cant.. finally now can.. haha =)
well.. i'm sick! again.. haha..
well.. o lvls coming soon.. in fact, o lvl practicals two weeks later! i realli got no confidence in it..
well.. now there are so mani things in everyone's heart.. after the last few weeks, i realized suddenly how far apart we're gonna be.. mich going anderson.. rox going ngee an.. mi? going to try for TJC and then if not possible.. mayb i'm going to tpjc.. wow.. nxt year.. with all our hectic schedules will it be possible to meet up so often? i realli hope so..
Mich said if she's realli going anderson, she'll shift to the north group.. i dunno what i realli feel about that.. she'll definately meet new friends.. and with her social skills, i'll bet she know like, the whole church in almost no time.. actualli.. i realli admire rox and her.. they can know so mani good frends! but i cant.. it's like.. i dunno.. i'm anti social? mayb tt's why i feel so lonely at times.. haha..
now days.. i duno why i'm so stressed.. i get so emotional easily.. i'm praying but i'm getting distant from God.. whn i hear the praise songs i'd cry.. whn i think of Him i'd cry.. whn i laugh so happily even, i'd wan to cry.. why? i guess it's because i'm not fit to be happi..
it's so hard to be happi sometimes.. this isnt the first time i've said this, but i know that i gotta concentrate on God, that He'll pull me through.. if there's anything at all.. i wanna keep my faith in Him..
haiz.. i wonder why in my mind i have such high aspirations.. i don't want to aim high.. i mean.. i want to take things slow but my heart keeps pushing me on.. even when i tried my best, if the results are not there i would be so angry at myself.. i would be like, i've not tried hard enough.. this is tearing me apart..
i think i'm gettin depressed.
i'm such a perfectionist.. i expect myself to excel in every area.. haiz.. that's it! i had enough! i mean.. i going to drive myself crazy!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
oki.. i can resume my calm and collected self.
i know! =)
i'll try to study so hard that i cant possibly decieve myself that i had not tried hard enough.. yes! haha.. oki..
so i shall study day and night.. until i reach my limit.. yes!
See? i'm so crazy i'll be happi if i actualli die studying too hard. that's a joke.
haha.. but i'm realli realli stressed out right now.. need to sleep.. need to watch a movie or something.. yepz.. but i'll wait.. and meanwhile.. pray. =)