PRELIMS

haha.. if i had been blogging just.. *let me see..* aiya.. lazy calculate.. just at 10 today.. i'll be droning on and on about how life is terrible and how my marks are terrible and how i am unable to go to JC.. yep.. i do fall sometimes.. and i did, badly fall in school todae.
but, i wanna thank rox a lot for reprimanding mi..haha.. like trying to make mi see tt all is not lost. but her words sort of fell on deaf ears.. just had to be depressed..
But from now i won't be.. cause i don't wanna waste more time being sad over my prelim results.. can go JC then go.. can't then can't.. yepz.. haha.. jus haf to work hard.. i know that VJC is a faraway dream.. but now i'll i must work towards it.. or it would be pointless, isnt it? haha
Prelims: Goal:
Eng - A2( if moderate) Eng - A2
Chi - A1 Chi - A1
A M - A2( if moderate) A M - A1
E M - B3 E M - A1
Phy - C6 Phy - B3
Chm - C5 Chm - B3
CmH - B4 CmH - A1
Lit - A1 Lit - A1

Yep.. i will work de.. i wun fall again.. now i'm feeling so embarrassed that i actualli went so depressing.. haha.. i won't do that ever again.. now, i shall eat, hm.. and start mugging! All O lvl ppl.. JIA YOU! =)

oki.. haf been coughing quite badly for the past few daes... haha.. now still coughing.. heh heh.. but saw doctor and now feel a bit worse.. haha.. oki oki.. mayb e medicine will like make mi worse and then i'll recover fast.. hope so! haha
hmm.. 90 percent we wont go into the same course? nvm wat.. like mich saes.. we'll be closest frends ever! let distance bring us closer rather than further.. haha =)
glad tt u're both oki with each other again.. *smiles* wuld haf loved to go with u guys to jack's place.. haha.. but then.. if i had been there u guys wuld nt haf been able to open so much? glad tt i dint go! =) haha
well.. i havent been studying for the past two daes! ahh.. guess later going to study.. ahh.. study time!
i seem to haf something to sae. but i cant sae it.. hmm.. haha.. ah well.. it'll come out in time..
i'm realli worried though.. tt i haven been going to services.. i mean.. REALLI worried.. how? i always prepare to go.. then something crpps up and i cant.. this wk MUST go.. yep.. and from this wk on.. i shall go every wk.. for God! yea! i cant go on like this anymore.. it's like takin a knife and stabbing myself everyweek.....
well.. no matter wat.. i believe tt we shall b frends and btw.. i realli tink we'll b frends forever.. realli.. *smiles*

cough

cough cough cough cough.. *breathe* cough cough cough cough cough
*faint* cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough..
*mayb i shuld slp.. *

good or bad?

hmm.. i realized that i cannot trust guys, as in those ppl who sae they like mi.. haha.. i dunno why.. i can trust them as good friends.. veri veri good friends.. but as something more i cant.. haha.. cause mayb i had a bad experience and now, it has became part of mi.. haha.. is this good or bad? onli time will tell.. haha

miiii

Hm.. updates on my termly report:
A Maths : F9
CH : C5
ChEM : D7
CL : A1
EL : A2
Lit : A1
E Maths : A1
PhYsics : C5

L1R5 : 15

haha.. i'm realli happi.. and realli thank God for these.. i realli want to keep it and improve on my maths and science so i can do better! yay.. single digit! haha.. hm.. i'm realli feeling something but i can't place what.. i dunno.. haha.. jus feel that i am lacking something.. dunno wat.. ah well..
by the way.. i dunno whether i did the correct thing.. but wat's done is done.. i realli hope that mich, u'll be oki.. i'm realli sorri for all that i haf done, but i wish tt you would jus b happier.. i might not understand, but i'm not forcing anything.. sorri again..
hmm.. my cousin's b'dae todae! i bought something for her ytd and it was quite nice i think.. haha.. realli hope that she would like it..

Ahh.. actualli i'm quite sad over my dad.. cause i tink now that my bro knows music, chinese music and he plays the yang qin quite well, my dad don't wanna care abt mi anymore.. i realized that everytime he calls mi it is to either find my brother, or to help him do sth.. i dun mind helping him, realli.. but he hurts me.. well.. i play the piano and practise hard.. i put my whole soul into what i'm playing everytime.. i can play and play till i cry, but as much as i try to create a perfect piece( which is not possible i know, but near it?) he jus doesn't care.. last time he said that i am starting to play music.. but now, he tells mi that i dun play anything from the black and white keys that i touch with my whole heart! i'm trying so hard but he tells mi that i'm creating nth.. while my brother is playing in performances already.. haiz.. i dunno why.. i'm jus so sad.. maybe like wat i said abt mi being a leader.. i dun haf the gift to perform for others.. to create something that will probe at people's emotions.. to let them listen to something that is untainted by the cruelty of the world.. i play and play.. jus so i can make something beautiful.. but i cant.. haiz.. haha.. guess i dun haf the talent..